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According to Us

One Husband, One Wife, Five Children and Everything in Between

A few years ago I remember seeing on the Today Show a piece about Type-A moms. The kind of moms that have their kids in all kinds of activities, serve on the PTA, and work full-time jobs. I think they called them Successful Moms (or something like that.) A few weeks later they did a piece about the Slacker Mom. She was the mom with the messy house, messy kids, and was late to everything. At first I was offended. They used a positive name for the first style of parenting and such a negative name for the second. I knew immediately that I was a slacker mom.

I have since embraced this title with full pride. I am a slacker mom.

That is not to say that slacker moms are lazy moms. I am definitely not lazy or bored. To be a slacker mom means that you are not driven by goals. Don’t get me wrong. I love to accomplish my daily chores. A clean house is a happy house. I think the difference is that if “it” doesn’t get done (whatever the it is) there is always tomorrow to try again. There is always room for slack.

I was thinking about this today, because it was the day of Valentines Party for my little Sweet T. It wasn’t until this morning that I had really thought about bringing any thing to the class for treats. She did have her Valentines, at least. Once we went to the party I was glad I didn’t feel compelled to bring anything. (I did ask her teacher if she needed anything.) They had plenty to eat.

I have tried to be more like a perfectionist. I just don’t have the push to do it. I guess I am to relaxed to be driven. Sometimes I wonder if my kids are suffering from my slack. Then I got to thinking about what the opposite of slacker mom is.

I was thing about a rope. When you want slack in a rope, you don’t want it to be tight. Is that what the opposite of a slacker mom is, a tight mom? If you put it that way, then slacker mom doesn’t sound so bad.

What does it mean for me to be a slacker mom? It means not making my bed everyday, leaving dishes in the sink overnight, taking a couple extra days to put laundry away, not bathing my kids every night, feeding them popcorn and other snack foods occasionally for dinner (like tonight), not matching socks when we are leaving and we are late, forgetting to brush their hair before we left late, and so on. That made me think. If doing or not doing those things means I am a success or a failure, then there are a lot of moms that fail.

We can’t do it all- all the time. There has to be a time that we enjoy the gift of time with our kids. I don’t want them to look back on their childhood and say, “our house was always clean.” I want them to remember all the fun time we had together whether the house was clean or not.

I have learned to embrace my slacking ways. To find the balance between a tight rope and slack is a fine line. The most important detail is to find a parenting style that works for you.

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